Once again, I give you all my literary doodling. Enjoy, or don’t. Have a nice evening and stay classy San Diego!

Ben’s three months of training had tremendous effects on his body, he thought as he looked at his naked body in the mirror. He had a ton of new scars, including his favorite, a white-hot line running from the knuckle of his middle finger to just below midway on his right forearm, drawn by a car window that he’d punched during an accident drill. His instructor had to explain to him that he couldn’t get any victims out of a car with half of his blood volume all over the door and the curb; Ben told him he was willing to make a bet. The instructor flatly refused and gave him a very concerned look. Ben smiled as he flexed his left bicep and watched the muscles awaken and slam into position, like Cadillacs parking.

            Meghan walked into the gray bathroom without batting an eye. “Well, good morning to you too. I see we’ve decided clothing is optional today,” She winked as she took one of Ben’s old firefighter t-shirts that she wore as pajamas. The tattered old navy blue things came down mid-thigh on her, so she frequently wore them like nightgowns.

            Ben chuckled and shook his head, pushing her back out the door while she protested. “This is a one-man show, no side acts! God knows you’re enough of a freak show on your own,” he struggled as he laughed while she tried to bite his arms and giggled hysterically.

            Ben finally gave up and allowed her in to brush her teeth while he put on his dress uniform. He’d guilt-tripped Meghan into pressing his olive green trousers and long-sleeve tan dress shirt the previous night by buying her expensive chocolate. With an event as important as his graduation, he wanted to look like he actually knew how to do laundry, especially since his parents and hers were coming to see the ceremony.

            While Meghan again left the bathroom and disappeared back into the bedroom, he finished tying his black necktie and adjusting his nametag, and turned to face himself, fully clothed, in the mirror, while Meghan was slipping into the stereotypical ‘little black dress’.

            Just as he had noticed prior to dressing, he’d changed a lot in the past few years, and especially in the past three months. Certainly, he’d lost weight and gained muscle mass, but it went deeper than that: The set of his jaw seemed straighter, stronger. His eyes no longer darted around with purposeless curiosity, but instead bored right into the glass, intent, intelligent, and wise. He felt for the first time in his life like he had a purpose, and he relished the feeling. He swept his laser-beam eyes over his uniform, pausing momentarily on the open spot over his left breast pocket, precisely where his badge would be pinned in a few hours as he graduated.

            Meghan came back into the bathroom and pulled Ben back out, “My mirror. Must do hair. You admire somewhere else,” she said, in a lame attempt at a Neanderthal voice.

            Ben instead leaned on the doorframe, admiring her as she carefully combed and parted her hair, letting it fall over her shoulders and sliding a black headband over it. Their eyes met in the mirror and Ben smiled at her.

            “I love you.” He meant it more than anything he could have said, and relished the thought of everything it entailed.

            She turned and hugged him, while he kissed the top of her head. “I love you, too, babe,” Meghan said when he released her.

            Ben quickly strapped on his dress belt- devoid of all the gadgets he carried on his duty belt, except handcuffs, baton, handgun, and two spare magazines.

            They left the loft, hand in hand. Meghan was nearly shoulder high on him, since she was wearing a set of heels that were a solid five inches high. She struggled down the old fire escape that now served as their “front steps”, a rickety set of iron steps that led to the parking lot.

            Ben opened the driver’s door of Meghan’s car for her, a tiny blue coupe with a nicely tuned engine and a very comfortable interior. Meghan also owned a Vespa scooter, but Ben tried to prevent her from riding it in the merciless LA traffic. Ben had wrecked his truck on his way to the grocery store a few weeks ago, so he was down to his Harley-Davidson race bike and Meghan’s wheels for transport. He climbed into the passenger seat with an ego only slightly bruised.

            Meghan would have bitten her fingernails clean off with nerves if she hadn’t been driving. Ben’s graduation was a major deal; this was the first chance she would have to meet his coworkers, and to add to her already stressed mood, his whole family was in town along with her own family and a few friends of theirs. It was the first time she would be around any of them as his Fiancé, and it was driving her crazy. As usual, Ben was totally placid and had his happy-go-lucky attitude in full swing. She really was proud of him- he’d worked hard for this moment; it was probably the first time he’d ever fully applied himself to a class.

            The training academy, where the graduation was taking place, was north of the city, almost in San Bernadino county, so they had a bit of a drive in front of them. Their guests were meeting them at the academy, and then would be following them home for dinner at the loft before returning to their hotels.

            The highway whizzed by, and Meghan was almost surprised when they rolled up to the lonesome Academy, nestled in amongst the harsh desert landscape. A red and white gate blocked the driveway, guarded by a single deputy, resplendent in “Smokey the bear” flat-brimmed campaign hat and aviator sunglasses.

            The gate guard shuffled up to the BMW, leaning in the front window as if he was issuing Meghan a ticket. Ben shifted uncomfortably to face the man, a little peeved that the man felt the need to invade her personal space quite so much.

            “Name and purpose?”

            “Gulden, Benjamin. Recruit Academy graduation.” The guard seemed to consult a list in his head before nodding and adjusting his shades. The exchange was monotone and emotionless, the guard’s personality as dry as the shimmering air around them.

            “Go ahead.”

            The lonely guard walked back into a small kiosk and punched a button, raising the gate, while a massive line of cars formed behind him. Ben guessed that they’d be waved through after the commander realized that the security was entirely superfluous.

            After parking in a massive lot, directed by the recruits that would take Ben’s class’ place at the Academy, Ben and Meghan split up, Ben headed for the locker rooms, Meghan for the huge asphalt parade field that doubled as a driving course during classes. There were neat, orderly rows of white plastic lawn chairs, with two aisles in between them. There was a large stage in front of the chairs, decked out in American and Californian flags

            As she found their assigned seats, Meghan was delighted to see that everyone was already there. Her old friend Mahnoor turned and launched herself out of her chair, nearly clobbering Ben’s father with her purse. Mahnoor was a tall and very striking Arabian girl, with a shock of dark cherry red hair that grabbed everyone’s attention in the very conservative and elderly crowd.

            “MOTHER! I MISS YOU!” The sheer force of the collision between the two women nearly knocked Meghan off her heels. She felt as if a very drunk and very affectionate Ben was embracing her; it was actually a fairly familiar feeling. They sat down and chattered excitedly about everything that had happened since Meghan had loaded up in Ben’s truck and came here. After that, she showed her ring to both sets of parents while they debated wedding plans. Of course, all involved parties wanted a church wedding, but the point of contention was that Meghan wanted to have the wedding back on the east coast so family could make the trip with greater ease, but Ben’s mother wanted to keep the wedding in LA, citing some arcane church law that stated one must be married in the parish where they reside. She resisted the temptation to remind her that the wedding was between Ben and her, and that planning would be done between them.

            Meanwhile, Ben was forming up in the hallway that led out to the parade ground. All twelve recruits stood two by two, with their class leaders, Ben and another recruit named Tyler “Snooze” Underwood. Their instructors stood impassively behind them, stony-faced and more hostile than ever. Ben was a little confused, but went along with it. Suddenly, a pair of new recruits opened the double doors in front of them, and their lead instructor, Kopelman, barked “Forward march,” an order that was instantly obeyed.

            Meghan grunted as Mahnoor jabbed her hard in the ribs. “Which one is papa? I can’t see!”

            “The guy in the front, on the side closest to us.”

            “Damn girl, he got hot,” Mahnoor bumped fists with Meghan and collapsed back into her lawn chair with laughter, earning a hostile glance from Ben’s mother. His father, along with Meghan’s, was fast asleep and snoring like a train with a transmission problem.

            The instructor that was in charge of the class, Lieutenant Kopelman, walked up the stairs to the large temporary stage and spoke into the microphone. “Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department recruit class one-zero-two-eight. These young men have trained for eighteen long weeks in a vast array of topics, from parking enforcement to responding to nuclear incidents. The tragedy of this fact is that they will need all of that information in their coming career. They will face challenges that classes ten years before them could not have dreamed of. Each and every one of them will do great things- of that I am sure. I personally have gotten to know each one of these recruits- and that, by the way, is a word that can only be used towards them for a few more minutes- and I have loved each and every one of them as only a father could. I will now introduce each one of them to you. Remember these faces, as each one of these men could live to be your savior or your worst nightmare. Escorts, if you’d come to the stage.” There was a clamor as Meghan and she presumed the other recruits’ significant others slid out into the two aisles and climbed up to the stage, behind the bulky Lieutenant.

            “First, I will introduce to you the class’ elected president- Recruit Benjamin “Hook” Gulden. Ben earned his call sign during a class on car accidents. Instead of taking the time to saw through a window, Ben smashed the thing in with a brutal right hook, unlocked the door, and rescued the victims. I believe, personally, that this act will define his career. He is unafraid to give himself in service to others, no matter what that sacrifice may be. And so, as is tradition in this department, I issue your badge with my words of warning. You are more valuable to the city as a living example than a memorialized hero. Come on up, Deputy.”

            Ben walked up to the stage, and Meghan stepped up next to him. His chest swelled with pride as he offered her his arm.

            Kopelman took a star-shaped badge from a table beside the microphone and pinned it to Ben’s chest. He stood back and shook Ben’s hand. “Make me proud, son,” he said, with a warm smile Ben had never seen out of the man. Ben turned to Meghan and kissed her while the crowd applauded. He was pretty sure he heard Mahnoor yelling, “Get it!” over everything else, but he was overwhelmed with the feeling of the badge on his chest so he couldn’t be certain.

            Meghan looked up at the delirious grin on Ben’s face. She was filled with an inexplicable frustration with him; could he just be an everyday cop and not have that hero complex? He’d been doing stupidly brave things since he was a firefighter, and it scared the crap out of her.

            The ceremony continued while she continued to ponder things. Dinner passed uneventfully, but Meghan felt uneasy. She’d known loss before, and she knew if Ben screwed something up she’d be destroyed.

            She finally worked up the nerve to say something after everyone left and the two of them were climbing into bed.

            “Ben, why do you do those things that Kopelman talked about?”

            Ben turned a quizzical glance towards her as he rolled onto the bed. “What do you mean?”

            “You’re always trying to be a hero. Could you just… cut that out maybe?” She felt tears coming to the surface, but tried to fight them down with a joke. Her skin flushed hot.

            “I don’t really see how I’m trying to be a hero,” Ben began pensively, pausing and staring into Meghan’s eyes. “I guess I’ve just always had that urge to prove that I can do something right to people, that I’m not a total screwup? I don’t know, it’s probably deeper than that. I certainly hope it is.”

            Meghan lost the battle with her tears, and let them flow freely, soaking into pillowcases and Ben’s shirt, as she rested her head on his chest. He stroked her hair behind her ear, just like he always did.

            “You’ve proved yourself to me, isn’t that enough? Can’t you be satisfied?”

            She felt his chest shudder under her. “Babe, I have a gift. I have to do things my way because nobody else can. And sometimes, my way is the only way that somebody’s gonna live.”

            “You promised me a long time ago you’d always be here!” She felt as if she were pleading to the cotton of his shirt.

            “Babe, I know I did. I’m not leaving. No matter the fuck what happens, I will be right here for you.” He held her tight against him, and she felt like she was holding onto him so that whatever invisible villain would end his exceptional, complex, and foolish life couldn’t take him. As foolish as she knew this man was, she also knew how deeply she felt for him, and she smiled as she dried her eyes on his shirt. She fell asleep, huddled against him, listening to his heart thud deep in his chest.

            Ben had other things on his mind than sleep. As soon as Meghan was asleep, he slipped out of bed and grabbed his motorcycle boots.

            The night air helped clear his mind, as did the roar of his custom exhausts. He needed time to think, and there was nothing better than getting out on the highway and letting the throttle open wide.

            Why was Meghan so worried? Was he reckless? Questions thundered through his mind as he weaved through the early morning traffic, heading for the city.

            Meghan, undoubtedly, was the greatest thing to happen to him in a long time. But was she more important than this career?

            The question stuck in his mind as he rode. His heart pounded as he wondered if he’d just been convincing himself that he’d do anything for her; for the first time in a while, he was on the verge of tears.

            A red Chevrolet Suburban roared past him in the right lane, doing at least one hundred miles an hour. Ben watched as two city squad cars pursued, and decided to join the chase, although he knew full well he could do nothing but observe.

            Just as Ben dropped in behind the cruisers, the Chevy wiped out, striking the back end of an eighteen-wheeler and pinwheeling into one of the cops. Everything came into brilliant focus as Ben laid his bike down, thanking God for his Kevlar kneepads. He drew his Colt .45 pistol from his thigh holster as he rolled to a halt in a ditch, his bike a few meters ahead of him. The cop car that hadn’t been hit ground to a halt beside him.

            “You ok man?” The cop peered into the ditch, offering a hand, while his partner ran towards the wreck. Ben nodded and choked out “Sheriff” as he clambered back up the bank.

            Suddenly three shots rang out, and the cop that was running for the Suburban fell to the pavement. “Gun!” Ben and the cop took cover behind the squad car. “Jonathan Ramirez,” he nodded to Ben.

            “Ben Gulden.” The cop grimaced in fear, unsure of what to do. Ben grabbed the man’s radio and punched the big orange distress button. “Officers down, shots fired at this location!”

            Ben swore in his mind, unsure of his next move. It was dark, and there was smoke pouring from the struck cruiser. Both lawmen flinched as another shot rang out. A plan began to formulate in Ben’s mind, and before he really knew how it ended, he was already executing the beginning.

            Leaving Ramirez crouched behind the car, Ben vaulted over the hood with his gun in his right hand, and charged into the smoky blackness. There were two men stumbling around, and Ben rapidly identified both of them as hostile. One raised a finger to point and shout at him, but Ben had already put two semi-jacketed hollow point rounds through the criminal’s torso, and dispatched the other before running to the stricken police car. The suburban’s front end was entirely on top of the cop car’s hood, and there were flames licking out from under it.

            Ben gulped as he realized what he had to do- he swung viciously and punched through the driver’s side window, reached down and unlocked it. He grabbed both cops, who were both completely limp, and hightailed it back to the other cop.

            At that point, back up arrived. Ben found himself staring dumbfounded at the three bodies on the pavement, blood pools rapidly congealing around them. All three had been pronounced dead on arrival when the ambulances arrived, and Ben was unsure of what to think.

            A warm pair of arms circled him from the side, and he looked down in surprise to see Meghan’s hazel eyes staring up at him, rimmed red with worry, panic, and fear.

            He realized just then that he had never been wrong about his emotions. This woman was the exact person he needed to grow old with, to start a family with, to protect, cherish, and love for all his days. He walked unsteadily to her car, noticing miserably that his bike would probably be totaled along with his truck. He at least had Meghan, and that much he couldn’t wrap around a telephone pole or grind into a smear on the interstate.